Can it be done?

Some call me crazy…but I don’t see it that way. God sparked
a fire in my soul once again, and I’m going to try as hard as I possibly can to
return back to the country that stole my heart. It’s February 26th,
and so far I’ve started letting people know that I’m making an attempt to raise
money and go to Cambodia this summer. I’ve sent messages on Facebook, and right
now I’m sitting outside and writing letters to mail to friends and family.
This past week I met with the Dean of the Religion Department
at my school and he told me something that I must not forget: Cambodia is not
going away. Even if this is the “last” time I go to Cambodia with SEU, I know
one day I will return. I have completely given this over to God, and I can’t stand
it! I love to be in control, I love to plan…I love to know what is going to
happen in my life. Going to Cambodia this summer does not fit into my plan. To
be honest, I planned to do absolutely nothing when I returned home in May after
graduation. It’s ridiculous, I know. I had great plans of reading, writing
poetry and planning for grad school…if I go to Cambodia, I won’t have very much
time for that.
I’ve learned over the past few years that I shouldn’t plan
out my life- yet, I can’t help it. I’m sorry for rambling on about this, but
sending letters and trying to raise $1,600 by March 15th is going to
take a miracle. Is my faith in God so deeply rooted that I can trust something
like this to happen? If this doesn’t happen, will I still be able to fall on
Him, and know life will go on; and everything will turn out for the good?
As of right now I’ve raised $80. I guess we’ll have to wait
and see what happens…